A new book out by Bronnie Ware called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, sets out the five biggest deathbed regrets she heard about from palliative care patients. In brief these are regrets about: not being true to oneself; working too hard; not expressing feelings; not staying in touch with friends; and not allowing oneself to be happier.
How can we get the balance right - to work enough to meet outgoings; to love enough to have close relationships; to have fun enough to feel life is fun; to exercise enough to feel fit and well; to do nothing enough to feel some space in our lives?
How can we get the balance of what we need to do - the fundamentals of earning a living, looking after our children, shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, caring for elderly relatives - and what we want to do. Where is the space in our lives to do the things that would gladden our hearts or give us a sense of joy?
It is possible to fulfil dreams as we go through our lives rather than waiting until we retire; until the children leave home; until an elderly relative has died. These are the excuses I hear over and over from clients who are not getting on and doing the things they want to do.
It is realistic perhaps to leave the big dreams for later because of our responsibilities. Yet sometimes we use these responsibilities as an excuse for not getting on and doing the things that would make life so worth living.
Instead of waiting for retirement, life can be fully lived. Each day can count as a special day by finding small things that make the day feel worthwhile or meaningful. Living your dreams now on a smaller scale can give you fulfillment in the present rather than saving it all up for retirement. The bit we know for certain in life is that one day we will die. The bit we do not know is when we will die.
A Tibetan proverb sums this up wisely and succinctly.
Don't be the pigeon who 'spends all night fussing about making his bed, and dawn comes up before he has even had time to go to sleep'.
How about living your dreams while you have the health and energy to enjoy them?