Sideways Anger

So you're angry about your colleague at work who got promotion before you and you're angry about your car breaking down and leaving you stranded; you're angry about your partner going out and having fun - you're also angry about being cut-up by that idiot driver this morning and you're shouting at the kids about minor things because they are annoying you and making you feel. . . angry.

Is your anger really about any of those things or is your anger misdirected and seeping out sideways.  In other words - what are you actually angry about?.

When people are 'cross' at home about their partner who hasn't cleared up after themselves; has just walked muddy footprints onto the freshly mopped floor; has their music up too loud; has squeezed the toothpaste tube from the top and left the lid off ...

What is this anger really about?

Usually there is something more serious bubbling inside - unresolved issues about your childhood; abandonment issues; hatred of your father; feeling unloved by your partner; having been made redundant - the possibilities are endless.

If you find yourself getting uncharacteristically or excessively angry with your children, your partner or your work colleagues, you are not happy

Your unresolved issues are polluting your life and ruining your relationships with those who love you.  As Freud said 'Unexpressed emotions will never die.  They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways' - Sigmund Freud.

These unresolved issues could do with being looked at, being spoken about, being explored and  processed to the point where you understand the root of your anger.  Only then will you stop being angry and refind your warmth and love for those around you.

Rather than just managing your anger with 'Anger management' tools, find out what is really making you angry. This is one of many things I am here to help you with.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled - Marshall B Rosenberg