'Relationships are hard; they need constant effort to make them work'
'If your relationship needs working at you're with the wrong person'
Which statement are you more inclined to agree with?
As a couple counsellor I would say that a relationship always needs work and attention to keep the warmth, understanding and intimacy alive; relationships need to be tended to; worked at with consistency. Neglect, disrespect and taking each other for granted are the greatest enemies of the couple relationship.
A close couple relationship needs a balance of things done together and things done apart; an openess of communication to avoid misunderstandings; an equality in decision-making and above all a mutual respect for each other as human beings who don't necessarily agree about everything.
Neglecting your relationship and minimising rather than solving issues between you can build to a crisis point from which it is hard to return. Consistent care and attention can prevent this, and visiting a couple counsellor before things feel dire or untenable can avoid reaching a crisis in your relationship.